A Fragile Bubble

So...there's this thing in my mind which kinda keeps bothering the hell outta me.And,I don't exactly know why it does;but it just do...I,uh,had it in my mind since recently,it bothers me a lot cos' perhaps you know,i felt like I'd spend forever and had put in much work into handling the situation and all..but,it,as the title says it,it was a really tough bubble at first.It was also fragile.It was a really tough situation.But,over the time,i spent more time with the bubble,i had it in my hands,i worked hard on it..i tried my very best to maintain it,i really liked the bubble...i was extremely fond of it and I'm not even sure why...i have no idea...i had great times with the bubble..and,then,the worst thing happened and to say,i have confirmed it that i went and exploded it i suppose?
its really an upset case for me..i felt like i had taken many many years just to try to go into the bubble;i was rather sure i had made a small prick in it...but,i wanted to go in...sadly,it exploded...and,i feel as though it would take me like what?another million years just to go back there again?its the kind of feeling of disappointment;as of all hard work and labour and nourishing etc. has all gone down the drain with the remains of the bubble.it was a journey,i didn't realise it was already that long till as of today.and,maybe that is even more the reason to feel upset;of the amount of time i spent ever so carefully with it and now that its gone...i am pretty sure its gone....and,i think perhaps now it has many many more layers of protection over itself;how am i suppose to get in again?i was never in,or was i?i feel confused,upset,disappointed(that's of course with no other than me myself),lost,as of not a single sense of direction or clue),blind?and..most of all,i feel unwilling to give it up,but should i?
but then again,to give it up i cannot,for this heart holds more than a tonne of rocks in it.
goodnight love ones.